


Glimmer

by wynnebat



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dysfunctional Family, Family Feels, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, POV Dee Reynolds, Season/Series 02, canon-typical assholery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 08:10:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17639069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wynnebat/pseuds/wynnebat
Summary: When Bruce Mathis first asks about their lives, Dee blurts out, “I set a girl on fire in college.”





	Glimmer

**Author's Note:**

> I just have a lot of feels about Bruce and his asshole kids. Bringing some old fics over from tumblr.

The whole problem with Bruce Mathis is that he seems really nice in a way Dee has no idea how to deal with. Overall, men are pretty easy, and she knows how to deal with men like her father—well, Frank—well, her actual father who she barely thinks of as an actual father these days but it's not like Bruce is any more of a father—but Bruce seems genuinely nice in a way that makes her uncomfortable. You're not supposed to be that nice, seriously. The world will use you and spit you out like a broken condom if you're that nice. And yet Bruce went to Darfur to help people and save the planet and whatnot. Outside of celebrities wanting a picture with some emaciated orphans, who does that?

So when he asks them to tell him about themselves, Dee has trouble with her usual go-to lies. He's just so god-awfully nice. And _I work at a bar_ doesn't seem like enough to drive him off (because even if she feels bad at the concept of lying to him, she doesn't actually want him in her life and making her feel bad about herself all the time), so she says, "I set a girl on fire in college."

Her name was Mary. Mary was a bitch. Is, actually, since Mary's still alive despite the third degree burn scars. Dee sometimes gets the itch to set her on fire again and do it properly this time, but usually that goes away after a couple hours. It would be a pain to go all the way to Oregon anyway.

Bruce isn't saying anything, so Dee looks over at Dennis.

"She's also an alcoholic," Dennis adds, helpfully.

Dee's not sure if he gets what she's doing or if he just likes humiliating her or both. " _You're_ an alcoholic."

"Yeah, true. But I own a bar, so it's cooler for me than it is for you." For Bruce, he adds, "She's just a waitress."

"I'm a bartender. And Dennis is only a co-owner anyway. Also, he's a rapist."

"Statutory rape is not rape, how many times do I have to explain that to everyone? I'm not a rapist. Every woman I've slept with has been at least seventy percent willing. At least. I'm extremely attractive, I don't need to rape anyone."

"You're getting fat, though."

"She is offputtingly skinny! I can see all your bones and it's gross. I don't know how you manage to get men to sleep with you."

"It's my charm." And since Bruce is looking startled but not throwing them out of his office, she adds, "And some coercion, but not Dennis' levels. I also only go for guys around my age instead of jailbait."

"I do not, I am a golden—"

"The highschooler."

"…she was eighteen."

"Mmm. A month into being eighteen?"

"A week, but I don't know what that has to do with anything."

"It has everything to do with everything. And in case you want to catch up with anyone else in our family, don't bother. Mom's a bitch, Frank sleeps in the same bed with a kid who may or may not be his son, and oh yeah, Pop-pop is a Nazi."

"What," Dennis says.

Dee nods. It took her years to realize it. "Remember all the pretty flags and the hand waving we used to do at the camp he took us to?"

There had been a pink Nazi flag that she'd stolen and brought home with her. She'd lost it within a week, which had made her sad at the time, but had probably been for the best. It's a low bar, but Dee can honestly say she isn't a Nazi.

"Fuck. Pop-pop really had issues." Turning to Bruce, Dennis says, "That's about all I can think of. Are you sure stalking Dee on Myspace was really worth it? You may be our dad, but we're nothing like you."

"You're my kids. Of course I want to know you. I can't just not try to be a part of your lives."

Dee's eyebrow feels like it's going to pop off her forehead. And as everyone keeps telling her, it's a lot of forehead to cross. "What."

"Maybe he's deaf," Dennis mutters.

"I heard the both of you just fine. And… your lives aren't ideal, but whose life is? Who am I to say how yours turned out, especially since I had no hand in raising you. Dennis, Dee, all I want is to have some small part in your lives for as long as you'll have me. I've always lived my life so that if I die tomorrow, I won't have any regrets. And not getting to know the two of you would be the biggest regret that I could have."

Dee feels… weird. She blames Bruce. "I'm not calling you Dad."

"I completely understand. I won't blame either of you for not being able to see me that way—you're both over thirty. I realize neither of you need a father figure at this age. But if you need a friend, I'm here for you."

Dee shares a look with Dennis. Bruce's idea of friendship is a very different thing than what they do. But hey, whatever. "Fine. But I am taking your speakers, I need a new pair."

"What? Those were mine. You can have that picture."

"I don't want a picture, it doesn't go with my apartment's decor. I'm taking this pen." Grabbing a piece of paper, she writes down an address. "That's Paddy's Pub. Dennis and I spend all our time there unless we're scamming people. Come visit us or whatever."

"I will, I promise. Can I get a hug from my kids?"

Dee bears it.

As they walk out the building, Dennis mutters, "He's awful. I don't know why you want to see him again."

But he's looking down at his sneakers, his shoulders a little hunched, and Dee's pretty sure he still feels the phantom touch of Bruce's hug around him, just like her.

"Yeah. Can't stand him," Dee says. "But I figure we can still scam him later or something."

"I'm pretty sure any money he's made, he's already given to his African family. Let's not tell Frank he's got black in-laws."

"Wasn't planning to. Let's also not tell him we've invited Bruce over. I think he wants to kill him or something."

"Should we tell Bruce?"

"Maybe. Or maybe we can just think of it as a trial by fire or something. If he survives Frank, he can deal with anything else we throw at him."

There's a part of Dee that likes the thought of having something to do with Bruce. It's the same part that still thinks about Mary, the one that says _you'll regret it later but wouldn't it be great if_. She's not delusional. Bruce will come to their bar once, twice maybe, be horrified by whatever they're up to, abstain from drinking, and look at her with disappointment before heading off to save the world. But wouldn't it be great if.

Dee doesn't finish the thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm also on [tumblr](https://crownwithoutstones.tumblr.com/).


End file.
